Pessimistic Hope

I would like to be able to do great things, accomplish mini-feats. I would like to be able to create worlds of fantasy and wonder for other people to create characters in, and build environments to help illustrate them. To be a master storyteller.
I would like to be able to write pieces of literature that would make the reader afraid to sleep, and of putting the book down. To cause them to be afraid of the dark once more.
I would like to be able to act well enough that it could actually be a job for me, as well as one of my preferred method of an outlet.
I would like to be able to stomach the image of myself as well as my own thoughts.
But I cant do any of these things.
But perhhaps in time, I will be able to get close to any of them.

I hope one day to meet my own Boogeyman.