I have nothing for this entry it seems. I found myself nearing the entity of a flood of rage earlier. Where does all my anger come from?
Is it from all the years I chose to never be angry and express it?
Is it from some innate genetic trait that just causes me to have it?
Is it because I try to never be as such, so it will always be bottled?
I absolutely loathe rage. it makes my vision become a tunnel. Causes more mistakes than boons. Loses sense of oneself. Makes you transformed in a sense into something you never thought you would be. Ive constantly found myself screaming at my mirrored image, having more strength than I should in sparring or lifting things, when I become angry.
It's as if there is a virus of Wrath that always attempts to infect every part of my being. It has no cure, only ways to halt it for the time being.
It's caused me to worry what would happen to anyone dear to me if it infected me. Caused me to fear relationships in a sense.
It's caused me to fear myself even.
What...in all honesty, am I? A caged monster in Human Flesh? A wolf in sheeps clothing? A literal puppet to my own idiotic emotions?
How...pathetic.
i'd go w/ caged monster since we're all something gruesome at some point. but notice i said at some point. i have faith that if the rage is unleashed it will receed or dissipate once fulfilled.i also see the fear to be had however, in the event of the unleashing. what would happen who would i hurt. but i guess knowing someones on the other side waiting to help will shed some light on the monster. help it return to a human sooner
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